Talk:MediEvil 2/GA1
From Γνωσιακή Βάση Υπηρεσιών και Διαδικασιών του Δημοσίου Τομέα
Contents
GA Review
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Reviewer: ProKro (talk · contribs) 12:43, 10 June 2015 (UTC)
1. Infobox
Check mark All good.
2. Lede
Prose
- Template:Xtn – Sony Computer Entertainment instead of Sony. (Per the infobox)
- Template:Xtn – "...second instalment in the MediEvil series and a sequel to MediEvil." (The release year of the previous title really isn't neccessary and needlessly breaks the flow.)
- Template:Xtn – "...after the events of the first game, it follows series' protagonist" (Possessive; "series's" also works; use personal preference)
- Template:Xtn – revival
- Template:Xtn – Victorian era
- Template:Xtn – "attempts to stop sorcerer"
- Template:Xtn – This is somewhat ambiguous as the definition of "success" is vague and success is usually considered timeless; I'd suggested changing it to something like "Development began shortly after the release of the previous title,..." or "Following the positive reception of the first game, Sony..." (Director himself says so in the 4. reference)
- Template:Xtn – "Sony Computer Entertainment commissioned SCE Cambridge Studio" (These are petty, I know, but are agreed MoS)
- Template:Xtn – "The original concept for MediEvil 2..." ("Concept of" implies that it already existed at the time (e.g. concept of gravity), whereas "concept for" suggests a future plan or idea)
Style
- Template:Xtn – Should be a separate paragraph.
3. Gameplay section
Prose
- Template:Xtn – "The interface and gameplay style do not differ much from the previous title." (Tense)
- Template:Xtn – "In MediEvil 2, player once again takes control of Sir Daniel Fortesque." (On most video game articles "player" is used instead of "players" in single-player titles' articles)
- Template:Xtn – "Close-combat"? I'd suggest using "close range" / "longer-range" -> "long-range" unless you mean to compare the two in which case it should then read "close range x and longer-ranged y".
- Template:Xtn – Two ways to go with this. 1. "...forms of weaponry,
such asfrom close range swords and clubs to long-range crossbows or catapults." or 2. "...forms of weaponry such as close range swords or clubs and long-range crossbows or catapults." (Basically, if there is "to" there has to be "from" to form a "from A to Z" span)
- Template:Xtn – It contains... (No need to repeat the name; it is clear to what the pronoun is referring.)
- Template:Xtn – Is this a new feature? If so, I'd suggest noting that; something like "Dan is also able to tear off his skeletal arm and use it as a club to fight off enemies during the early levels, a skill absent in the previous title." will do.
- Template:Xtn – "...new weapons featured in MediEvil 2 include pistols, shotguns and
aGatling guns." will work. (This implies a list. Unless, of course, these weapons are actually made up of pistols, Gatling guns and other to form some kind of Franken-weapons unique to the game.)
- Template:Xtn – "...Winston to learn new moves or to save the player's progress between (longer?) levels." (Does Dan teach Winston, or does Winston teach Dan? If the latter is the case, use "learn". Also, "between longer levels"; is saving unavailable in/after/during implied shorter levels? If not, I'd suggest removing "longer" completely.)
- Template:Xtn – "It also depletes completely if he drowns or falls from a great height." (Tense)
- Template:Xtn – "...restarts from the last known save point." (Tense; same as the last one)
- Template:Xtn – "...Life Bottles, which automatically refill..."
4. Plot section
Prose
- Template:Xtn – "demonlike" is more common.
- Template:Xtn – ...named Kiya; Dan's future love interest. (Certain future instead of descriptive adjective clause)
- Template:Xtn – "Dan's shock" (Optional, both are fine; possessive form is more usual nowadays though)
- Template:Xtn – Better use "Having discovered a time machine..." or "After discovering a time machine..." (Dangling participle)
- Template:Xtn – it -> them (plural)
- Template:Xtn – "However" is unnecessary unless that sentence is supposed to contradict another which it currently doesn't. "Dan manages to turn the demon..." will work.
- Template:Xtn – with his last/dying breath (Expression)
- Template:Xtn – unnecessary in this case (Pleonasm)
- Template:Xtn – "If the player has collected all the Chalices, Dan and Kiya go for a ride on the time machine which takes them back to the time of the first MediEvil instead." (No comma before which; restrictive clause)
5. Development section
Prose
- Template:Xtn – same thing as before, Sony Computer Entertainment.
- Template:Xtn – "...in development so, instead, the project was handed over to James Shepherd." or ""...in development so the project was handed over to James Shepherd instead."
- Template:Xtn – "held prisoner" is more common.
- Template:Xtn – "Sir Daniel Fortesque would have to free him...", "Sir Daniel Fortesque's objective would be to free him..." or "and have Sir Daniel Fortesque free him..." (Tense)
- Template:Xtn – "Shepherd settled on MediEvil 2..."
- Template:Xtn – Victorian era
- Template:Xtn – SCE Camebridge; or "Cambridge studio" as used previously in the text. (Typo)
- Template:Xtn – "Various features cut from..."
- Template:Xtn – "cut" is redundant here as it is implied that these levels are some of the cut features.
- Template:Xtn – "beta status" is vague, especially to someone who isn't familiar with video game lingo. I'd suggest linking it to software release life cycle part about beta
- Template:Xtn – Just "artificial intelligence". However, if it's referring to computer-controlled characters and their use of game-specific logic, specific to the game, use "NPC logic".
6. Reception section
Prose
- Template:Xtn – I believe this was meant to read "detailed graphics" or "rich, detailed graphics".
- Template:Xtn – "new addition of cutscenes" (Single addition as a whole)
- Template:Xtn – Should be "Game Revolution".
- Template:Xtn – frame rate (Also a link would be useful)
- Template:Xtn – Use "Sparks also noted similar concerns with confusing level layout."; the second part of the sentence is unnecessary as it is already used in the previous paragraph.
- Template:Xtn – Daily Radar should be italicized and linked; also you might want to change it to "Daily Radar's Stephen Frost"; article's established style used with other mentioned reviewers.
7. References, images, external links and categories
- External links
Check mark All good.
- Images
Check mark Rationale(s) provided.
Check mark No copyright issues.
- Categories
Check mark All good.
- References
Check mark Inline citations
20px No dead links
Check mark No bare urls
Check mark Verifable
20px Reliable
Comments
- GameTrailers ref. (1.) isn't the footage of gameplay (at least not for me). Maybe a wrong link? I'd suggest using a written source instead of a video; IGN ref. (7.) seems to cover most of it. Simply swap them, it'll do fine.
- DailyRadar ref. is used to corroborate "MediEvil 2 consist of pistols, shotguns and a Gatling guns." despite it not mentioning any of it; again IGN ref. does so - no biggie.
- (20px) Is "MediEvil Boards" (3.) a reliable source for this? Looks like a fan forum; but if it's "legit", I have no objection. If not, we'll need a different reference.
- In Development section, MediEvil Boards (3.) and GameSpot (4.) references are used to corroborate "Chris Sorrell, who previously served as director of the first game, was not involved in development" despite neither of them mentioning that. They only say James Shepherd is the director; so I'd remove that bit to keep it simple.
8. Review
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. Has an appropriate reference section: 16px
- B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary: 16px
- C. No original research: 16px
- A. Has an appropriate reference section: 16px
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects: 16px
- B. Focused: 16px
- A. Major aspects: 16px
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias: 16px
- Fair representation without bias: 16px
- Is it stable?
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content: 16px
- B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions: 16px
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content: 16px
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail: 15px On hold
- Pass or Fail: 15px On hold
Additional comments
Just a couple of suggestions, these are all optional:
- Predecessor, first game, previous game, previous instalment and previous title are all interchangeable so I'd suggest using one or two and sticking with them all through the article.
- Are there any verifiable sales figures you could throw in? They would make for a nice addition.
- There is only a handful of references so I'd suggest archiving the URLs to prevent link rot.
Overall: Article is concise and focused, albeit riddled with minor errors like typos and phrasing. Text is easy to read, it is interesting and engaging. References are few but mostly verifiable; only one is dubious at the moment.
In my opinion – this is an easy pass. Minor cleanup and rephrasing and the article's good-to-go. I'd also like to apologize in advance for any typos of my own as I typed this out pretty quickly. That's it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask away. I'll be sure to give it a look asap. ProKro (talk) 12:43, 10 June 2015 (UTC)
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